This Doctor Wants to Humanize Death | Op-Docs

If losing a child to an illness is one of the worst things that can happen to a family, Dr. Nadia Tremonti has made it her mission to make it better.

It’s not easy. But as a pediatric palliative care physician, she works to ensure that terminally ill children receive quality end-of-life care. Palliative care is sometimes misunderstood to shorten life expectancy, but it’s a method that increases quality of life, improves symptom burden and decreases medical costs. We follow Dr. Tremonti in John Beder's "Dying in Your Mother's Arms" as she works to make death less medical and more human. In the process she asks a critical question: When a child is terminally ill, how can we make the end of life a better one?

Read more: https://nyti.ms/3gPcXc2

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100+ comentarios:

Bianca T
Bianca T:
Thank you to the families who allowed people to film them in their worst moments. Your contribution is appreciated and respected. Your angels are resting in peace x
Ally Shaw
Ally Shaw:
I watched this randomly just weeks before my baby girl was born too early and died two days later. I honestly thought of several moments from this documentary while my baby was dying in my arms. And it brought so much peace. And the NICU doctor was so kind, so gentle, and really helped us understand it was time. She reminded me of Dr Nadia. Our baby had a fatal condition diagnosed weeks before birth (after watching this film), so we knew it was unlikely she would make it, especially given that she was born a micropreemie.
McKenzie Gable
McKenzie Gable:
This is the type of compassion and realness that unfortunately is sorely missing in our healthcare today. Replaced with corporate greed and personal gain. Thank you for being a true doctor among doctors.
Broomrider 269
Broomrider 269:
Being disabled, having a auto immune disease, being chronically ill- I can tell you that I'm okay with my upcoming death. Others do tend to "GASP! Don't talk like that!". We are still part of this ecosystem, still animals and are not somehow separate from the circle of life. Love what this Doctor is doing and wish more physicians could adapt this style. Much Love & respect to all these parents & Dr T. from Colorado!
Teeny Anderson
Teeny Anderson:
I had to re-read the title. This is what our healthcare needs. Empathetic doctors that will hug you and say it's time instead of hiding in their office or sending out a nurse. I can't imagine that this job is easy but she's amazing. She wants these families to have every last minute....to the last minute. She is kind to those who have hope. She doesn't hurt those people. I never had a doctor do that for me.
Lizzie Cottrell
Lizzie Cottrell:
I love when she talks about how she would like to die. It makes me feel much more at peace about my son's death. His life was so incredibly short, only 38 hours. But he died in my arms, with family around us. All he knew was love and warmth.
Hannah McCallum
Hannah McCallum:
I used to be a nurse in a NICU. God bless this woman. We need more people like her.
x
x:
Even this woman’s hugs are genuine. I hate when I see ppl trying to comfort someone and they’re awkwardly petting them on the back. To truly hug that mom and rub her back was so real and heartfelt
zelvin hill
zelvin hill:
Our culture has come to view death as a medical failure rather than life’s natural conclusion. Death seem more like an option than an obligation. This physical and emotional distance becomes obvious as we make decisions that accompany life’s end. Suffering is like a fire: Those who sit closest feel the most heat; a picture of a fire gives off no warmth. Doing something often feels better than doing nothing. Inaction feeds the sense of guilt-ridden ineptness. We ask ourselves, "Why can't we do more." All moves, end in abdication.

To those who are in this specialized work, I commend you. Definitely not for the faint of heart. I used to sit with hospice patients who had no family or friends in their final hours. It’s very bittersweet.
SC Nurse
SC Nurse:
As a pediatric nurse who has cared for kids and families at their time of loss, I can attest to the fact that there is no moment so universally humbling and humanizing as when a child passes. Dr. Tremonti is a shining example that compassion need not be diminished by educating families about realistic expectations.
Lucy
Lucy:
it absolutely kills me that the first mom is in her work clothes. people shouldn’t need to go to work when they’ve got a child who’s likely to die at any moment, we as a society should take care of them
laurelherg
laurelherg:
Her compassion and love for her patients made me cry. She is my new role model for exactly who I want to be as a future physician.
melody brae
melody brae:
I’m a highschool student. This just came up in my recommendation and I thought I’d share this. My 15 year old friend died the 24th and her birthday was the 25th. The doctors gave her a toxic dose of chemo and she just couldn’t fight anymore. This video really touched me because it helped me see it from not only my broken heart but her mothers. Her mothers life must be completely shattered. I know all of ours are. LLS🕊❤️ 4-24-22. We love you angel!
Ebony Hinkson
Ebony Hinkson:
I lost my 9 yr old son in 2017, and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I miss my son so much! And I understand how these moms feels and I’m praying for them.
Ruth Gichere
Ruth Gichere:
I lost my newborn daughter in December 2014. I remember that none of the doctors were really communicative and we even had to transfer her to a different hospital to get access to some specialized equipment. Looking back, if we had access to someone like Nadia, it really would have helped with letting go. Sometimes, its better to know the hard truth than offering false hope.
N
N:
When my husband was dying none of the doctors would tell me he was dying, even though I had to fly our children from Alaska to California. It was a nurse who finally took me aside and whispered that it was time to get them on a plane. Had she not done that they would never have said goodbye to their father. Thank you to all the people in this video, you are heroes.
Nunya Bizness
Nunya Bizness:
At 4:41, the doctor said, "You're a good woman." That is the absolute BEST thing she could have said to this mother, and the most healing words she could say. Well done, Dr. Tremonti.
Elizabeth Mills
Elizabeth Mills:
The courage and generosity of heart those parents had in sharing their unimaginable heartbreak is astonishing. I hope they all have found solace in their grief. Giovanni's mother in particular is an amazing, courageous woman. Seeing her pregnant, knowing her baby was going to die, and then seeing her bringing sweet wee Giovanni home, and her holding him, was heart-wrenching. The memorial service was beyond moving. Rest well, little man.
Lavinia de Mortalium
Lavinia de Mortalium:
People who professionally deal with death, and aren't afraid of being honest with you, are invaluable. The loss is hard enough, but the gaslighting I've received from medical staff is downright traumatizing. I love what this woman is doing. Behind honest about death, being prepared for death before it happens, has a wonderfully healing aspect to it.
KJ 💫
KJ 💫:
My dad had a palliative care doctor who was fantastic. She advocated for him more than anyone else did. She answered all of my dad's questions and made him feel comfortable. He transitioned to home hospice later, who were also awesome. Healthcare workers of the dying are underappreciated and underpaid. This woman is iconic.
Folkinghippie
Folkinghippie:
The intimate act of leaving her beloved child in the arms of this doctor while Mama got up to grieve for a moment. To me, speaks volumes to what this woman is conveying to these mothers without words.
arrozc0nleche
arrozc0nleche:
I just cried through this entire film. This doctor is doing incredibly meaningful and important work. Bless her and bless all the families who shared their stories. 🖤
Zzys
Zzys:
She’s right! Many doctors don’t prioritize therapeutic communication during the dying process because it’s not a priority. It’s a sad reality
Jettie
Jettie:
Now this is what you call “meaningful” work. This doctor has passion for her work and even more compassion for her patients. Truly wonderful.
Daha Solomon
Daha Solomon:
As a medical student I can't even begin to fathom how much work Dr Nadia has put into her communication skills in order to comfortably talk about such a tragic job. I can't even imagine how this is just her everyday life. What a wonderful doctor and human.
100 Acts of Love
100 Acts of Love:
When my husband was dying, one doctor wouldn't say the word "die." I was so relieved when our main doctor came in and said "Your husband is going to die, probably in 3 days. Because he is young, it will take a few days for his organs to shut down." I will be FOREVER grateful to that doctor who spoke the truth. It helped my kids and myself process his, my husband's, death. To the families who let us in, thank you for showing your humanity. Thank you NYT for this Op-Docs. No one is every ready!
Kelly B
Kelly B:
This was just beautiful. I can’t imagine how hard it was to have cameras peeking in at the most vulnerable times of life. Thank you for sharing your babies with us and helping us to better appreciate life and death.
Sarah Ogletree
Sarah Ogletree:
I honestly wish this documentary was longer…there is so much more we could learn about this process but I’m hopeful and grateful that there are doctors willing to learn and put themselves aside to do what’s truly best.
snoboreddotcom
snoboreddotcom:
I remember when my grandfather was sick. His palliative care doctor was a true gift to us. She treated him and all us as people, there not only to check on him but also for everyone else. Spending time talking to him and my grandmother about other stuff, exchanging stories and giving them respect. Then as he got worse she brought to us the option of Medical Assistance. Helped talk us through it, what it meant and what it would be like for him. He went with it. On the decided day he was in his own house. He ate a bunch of chocolate, had a nice glass of wine. In his own home he lay in his bed, spending hours with all his family in hours before. And then he wanted us to leave the room for his death, so our memories were those final good ones. She stayed with him and was the one to assist. He died peacefully and happily. He was able to spare us the pain of watching the death itself while she was still able to give him the comfort of someone being with him for his death. When she left the room she was crying lightly, and hugged all of us and spent time comforting all us. Dr. Benjamin did so much for us and I'll forever be grateful to doctors like her and Dr. Nadia here for what they do. I feel sad thinking about his death, but my final memories of him are truly happy thanks to her.
Salome Farya
Salome Farya:
I work in the funeral industry. This video is so massively important. I wish more doctors were like this. As mortuary student, we study the acute awareness of child terminal patients who can understand that they are dying, and how drastically impactful medical institutions are in the role of the grief process that begins in both the patients themselves and their families (most often long before death actually occurs). Death typically is not discussed until we step in, which is less than desirable more a multitude of reasons. I wish more doctors would follow suit of this woman. She's doing an amazing thing. Breaking the glass ceiling on the death and dying process would make "the end" a lot less stressful, for a lot more people.
Eastern Lights
Eastern Lights:
When my grandma was in the hospital with lung cancer, the doctors knew she wasn't going to make it. It was so bad they didn't even try chemo. But they didn't tell either her husband or her daughter (my mother) or her son. The shock when we got the phone call that she passed was horrible, because I genuinely thought she was gonna live. It was unfair to give us false hope.
Emry Kin
Emry Kin:
I remember watching this woman last year. She really helped me with my own struggles and ideas on death. I hope she knows she’s helping a lot of people.
B Burg
B Burg:
Thank you.
My daughter died...in my arms. After years of grief in this memory, today, with this doctor's words, I feel peace in that this is how she died. 41 years of love shared. And this is what she knew to her end time here.
I really needed this perspective. I miss her so very much. Thank you for helping me know I helped her even as my own heart was breaking.
Danyel
Danyel:
“I want to live to 100 and everyone around me be healthy and I want to magically turn into a baby and die in my mom’s arms” i think that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard someone say
Breana Kelly
Breana Kelly:
As hard as it can be to accept, I believe that terminally ill people should be able to pass on in a painless and peaceful death, instead of being put on ventilators to keep them alive whilst the patient and family are in pain. This doctor is absolutely amazing and we need more people like her
Ajeet Pooni
Ajeet Pooni:
When she described how she wanted to, die, I started to tear up because without a doubt, I would want the same thing. Realistically though, I’d want my parents to pass peacefully without having to live their last moments in a hospital, and without going through the loss of a child. When I am inevitably in the situation in which I am caring for a dying family member, I can only hope the doctors are as honest and compassionate as Dr. Tremonti was.
Solano Ghost Girl
Solano Ghost Girl :
It's hard to imagine being that doctor who has to tell you that your child might not live, but she's got the compassion to take on that role...there needs to be more like her.
Gone Shrimp’n
Gone Shrimp’n:
I think it’s very important to let family members know exactly what’s going on. I would respect a doctor way more for telling me the truth than allowing me false hope
Cheri461
Cheri461:
I love this woman's approach. honest, direct, but compassionate. in the medical field this nuance is an art and a talent.
Matthew Snook
Matthew Snook:
I love her loving gaze. Being looked at by her must feel like a warm hug.
Tracy Doverspike
Tracy Doverspike:
Twenty years ago this summer, we lost our twins. We had a doctor who was so kind and gentle, and he gave us the strength to let nature takes its course. Death doesn't have to be scary.
ladeekatt
ladeekatt:
What a beautiful human! It was also amazingly brave of the families to open their lives to help spread awareness about a much needed topic. Death is a beautiful transition, and shouldn't be feared. 💜
Nina Ferretti
Nina Ferretti:
I never really realised how badly my dad's fight against cancer was until my sister called, crying, to tell me he was dead. I was 12 and uncomfortable in hospitals, and it made sense that they wanted me to go to school normally and didn't really force the issue when I said I didn't want to fly out to another country to visit him that upcoming week-end, but maybe if someone had been upfront and honest about the situation, had looked me in the eye and told me "your dad might die soon" rather than let me ignore it, I could have been there and told him how much I love him one more time, and actually KNOW how it all ended. Now nearly a decade later, I still don't know if an operation went wrong, if he passed in his sleep, if there were any last words. And I still can't forgive myself that my biggest concern at the time was not wanting to catch up on homework when my mum suggested the one time that I come visit for a week. I wish people had been more honest about death, more direct. I wish my mum hadn't tried to spare me from it so much that ten years later I still feel blindsided by the pain of missing him and all the regrets lingering.
Deeness88
Deeness88:
“You are a good Mama”- the amount of compassion in that statement is overwhelming. When you have a sick child you feel like a failure and so helpless. To hear your efforts validated and affection shown is such a blessing. This doctor is incredible.
Fr0gg37
Fr0gg37:
I like how genuine this doctor is. It’s hard, but people need to know how serious a situation is.
Jillsy8121
Jillsy8121:
i am an adult and I wish I had you in my team of doctors. None of them seem able to look at the bigger picture and allow me to humanize my own death. You are a blessing to these families.
Jennifer Poitras
Jennifer Poitras:
This doctor is amazing and her passion for the normalization of dying is incredible - it should be viewed as a normal part of the human existence, not a medical condition. I'm an End of Life Doula and it is incredibly difficult to be on this side of the grave watching your loved one transition to the other side. It can be scary to watch, very emotional and the Hospice staff and doctors that treat this as a normal thing and educate the caregivers are wonderful. My role is to help the patient and family with this transition and make sure that the death is as good as it can be for the person going through it. Being ok with death doesn't mean that you are callous or unfeeling. I can tell you right now that I have tears rolling down my face for the little ones in the story as well as their parents, grandparents and family. It is hard enough losing an elder of the family, but to lose a little one, that really has to sting. As a mother, I have thought about what that would be like and it tears my heart to shreds. May blessings be bestowed upon the people in this video and anyone going through the dying process - patient or caregiver. <3
Britta Olson
Britta Olson:
This is so important! When I had osteomyelitis, I had a doctor tell me, “You do know your condition is serious.” I guess I was supposed to intuit that he meant I would very likely die. But, with the stages of denial and all that patients and family go through, doctors/nurses need to be VERY clear about the prognosis. Some of us just don’t know their jargon. I thought he was just saying it was important that I go in for my regular IVs or I would have more symptoms. My husband had to tell me what that meant, and I clarified with the doctor. I have been very fortunate to survive for almost 20 more years. My illness could return, but I am more than grateful, and just doing all I can to be healthy!
E Costello
E Costello:
Also worth noting that this doctor is in Detroit and caring for some of the most underserved moms and families in the country. Everyone deserves this kind of care.
runwayy
runwayy:
This was just amazing. Dr Nadia is definitely a force. I only wished we had a palliative care doctor like her when my father’s death was approaching.
And her slowly bringing up loss/death/grief to her kids, is very important. I wish my parents had taught me or discussed this with me. I think I might have managed the grief over my father’s death slightly better.
Rebecca James
Rebecca James:
Yes yes yes to all of this!! So many people tell me that I am ‘morbid’ for wanting to get into the funeral industry and they cannot understand why I would do it. Planning and talking about death isn’t ‘tempting fate’ because we WILL die! And when it happens being ready and knowing it doesn’t mean it won’t be sad. It’s a terrible thing so thank goodness for this doctor giving the small amount of comfort to families at the absolute worst time
Charlotte Coachman
Charlotte Coachman:
The fact that so many more people gave a thumbs down to this video speaks of how we push the thought of acknowledging death and dying away. It is a fact for all of us. This Doctor does such a compassionate and honest service to those in the situation of losing a child. Having sat with people whom I love while they were transitioning I have to say it is an honor to be there with them, tell them goodbye, and tell love them how much I love and appreciate them right to their last breath. Thank you so much for this video.
000JayDub
000JayDub:
This is so powerful.The statement “you’re a good mom” filled me with so much love and emotion- I cannot imagine how important it was for her to hear that.
꧁Katt꧂
꧁Katt꧂:
Anybody gonna talk about how amazing the moms are to share their tragedies with us just for the sake of education?
Thank you ladies! Your stories will not be forgotten and you are VERY much appreciated! ❤❤❤
1000 Rats
1000 Rats:
As a future nurse, I’d lunge at the opportunity to be taught by this woman, or to work alongside her because I resonate with her mission of being death-aware and the better death, and she herself is for lack of stronger words remarkable. She is incredibly intuitive and genuine. Her soul and mind and heart have helped so many ❤️❤️
Contented Spirit
Contented Spirit:
It is so important for people to understand what is happening. I was an ICU nurse for over 20 years. I was fortunate to attent the Army's critical care nurse course which gave me so much more experience. Death is part of life but so many doctors or medical professionals are unable to face or talk about death. Helping families understand while helping patients receive a compassionate transfer as they pass IS the kindest of patient care we can do for those we care for. I was very often the nurse assigned to dying patients for whatever reason. I worked longest in an open heart surgery ICU and there were patients who didn't survive. Families need that compassion and help to understand. It's a process but one that is so needed. I watched my mother linger and suffer from cancer when I was 23, before I became a nurse. Both me and my younger sister became nurses in different area. It's a difficult but rewarding career and there are so many patients you never forget. It's most rewarding when your patients and their families know and feel that you care and understand their pain and confusion. Making that better in whatever circumstances is what medical care is all about.
India Moore
India Moore:
What a beautiful woman with such an amazing manner around such a tragic matter. My heart goes out to these families
T H
T H:
Parents, partners need to learn asap even if it requires paying for their therapy in order to accept the inevitable. This doctor is amazing. I spent 4 months caring for my stepdad in hospice. Every time he mentioned death or those dreams i joined him in that conversation. I noticed others did not, some dissuaded him. It takes a certain comfort level, acceptance to go there. I've noticed the same when a parent talks about their emotions toward a partner who passes. We can do better, we are growing as humans. Women are so brave, they can handle this. There is a whole industry profiting from our discomfort which is why orgs like Funeral Consumers Alliance are so important. Just beautiful.
Princezz Puffypants
Princezz Puffypants:
Palliative care is NOT "giving up". It is acknowledging that someone's time is done, and helping them through to the other side in any way that we can. Death used to be very normal in the West. It was embraced by our society. The dead lived on through their families and in remembrance. We've come to have very wrong ideas about death (in the West) that have caused us to hate, fear and futily attempt to avoid it!
Linda Benny
Linda Benny:
This doctor is fantastic, we need so many more people like her. I was a nurse & saw doctors going around the subject all the time. We all need to talk so much more about death to make sure we all get what we want.
Munich Moon
Munich Moon:
Wow. My HIGHEST respect for this woman and her work. ❤️ Thank you for these parents who shared their tragedies with us, there are no words to be honest...
Alisa Maria Angels And Demons
Alisa Maria Angels And Demons:
This is so heartbreaking to watch especially as a mother of 2. I lost a child at almost 7months pregnant. I can’t imagine having my child alive, seeing the baby, holding baby, caring for the baby, and then loosing that child. My prayers and heart goes out to all these mother’s. Idk how Drs and nurses do this job…they are truly gifts from God.🙏🏽❤️👼
D. K.
D. K.:
Dr. Nadia is truly a compassionate human. I can't even imagine how STRONG of a person she has to be for both her patients but the families she comforts as she cares for them.
Simply Toya
Simply Toya:
This makes me think about when my grandmother passed away. Before she died she kept saying all she wants is to see all her grandkids together. She was in a nursing home and has well over 40 grandchildren (I’m not even gonna try to count). The nursing home staff (my aunt and cousin worked there as well) called the family on Monday and told everyone we needed to come there. On Tuesday the whole floor was filled with her children and grandchildren. She passed away with all of us surrounding her bed and overflowing from her room. We were all able to talk and sit with her while she transitioned. It was a sad but beautiful moment and exactly what she wanted.
Lady Mei
Lady Mei:
Much love and respect to all our brothers and sisters who work in palliative care. Thank you for your work and dedication. ❤️🙏
Helena Houser-Jackson
Helena Houser-Jackson:
I’m so sorry for all the loses I have read in the comments, and for the families in the video. This woman is a blessing 🙏🏽🕊🖤🕊
JLili12
JLili12:
She’s a palliative care physician for dying children. That must be one of the toughest jobs on the planet. I would cry everyday.
Liz zie
Liz zie:
When my mother had stage four cancer, the only, and I mean the ONLY, people who really fought for her comfort and care with my family were her palliative team. I will remember and be thankful for them for the rest of my life.
Ian Evans
Ian Evans:
So it’s not about normalizing death, it’s about doctors acting human to their patients and being honest. I love it. The healthcare system is this country is downright awful. This is how ALL doctors need to act. They use too!
Lady Adara The crone
Lady Adara The crone:
I completely agree with this doctor. I work in nursing and I have had the same opinion for years. People get too caught up in religion and other beliefs to actually consider what the hospice patient is actually enduring. To let someone suffer and not helping them to, comfortably, crossover is the inhumane thing to do.
Danielle L
Danielle L:
I first watched this video a few weeks after it was posted and I still talk about it and share it with people. I lost my mom in April; she spent 30 days in hospice. Hospice itself is a heartbreaking experience, but the staff and the support was such a gift. I wish she could have had that same level of support while she was in treatment.
BlisteringBlue
BlisteringBlue:
It's amazing doctors like her exist. I'm an empath, which is something I feel like I have to hide most of the time since I'm a guy. I can handle pain, but I can't handle seeing the pain of others, if it was my choice I would choose to endure it just so they don't have to. I hope the parents of these children find peace, they all deserve it.
rey skywalker
rey skywalker:
we need more people like her. my dad died suddenly, after doctor didn't realizes he was having a sepsis, the only person talking to my mom was a nurse just telling her "well, now it's too late"
Doves n Serpents
Doves n Serpents:
I work with the dying, and have had a stillbirth. When she said, "the more you fall in love, the more his life had meaning," that hit me so hard. I have never heard it said so well. This is so moving and I am so grateful for her work. Having a good death, and making a good death possible, matters.
Christa DeMarco
Christa DeMarco:
I wish there had been a more honest conversation around my mother in laws death process. On the day she died her siblings were still struggling coming to terms with what was happening. Having worked in palliative care as an HHA, I have a deeper appreciation for people like this doctor. Thank you for sharing this and destigmatizing death
Tori Lynn
Tori Lynn:
I watched this video when it first came out, it did nothing but encourage me. I’m now in my second semester of nursing school and my dream is to be a hospice or palliative care nurse and maybe one day a nurse practitioner.
Emily Rose
Emily Rose:
I cried so hard watching this. I will never forget these women. ❤️
gunio poyuki
gunio poyuki:
What a fully formed individual this doctor is. SO happy to have seen her in action.
Vasz Gul
Vasz Gul:
We need this as a culture. We need more death acceptance, death planning. We need to understand and plan in order to heal. We need to make death as easy, and comfortable, and as good a thing to go through when it's time, as is possible to do. I applaud this doctor and anyone else doing this job, for doing what they can to make an incredibly difficult time more comfortable not just for the families, but for the babies.

"Most people don't want a medical death. We want a human death."
Jennifer Munro
Jennifer Munro:
Her commitment to preparing the parents so that they can enjoy the brief moments with their children is so inspiring. She is called to this job, because she knows that the moments that you hold your child, however brief for these parents, are so important that we have to be prepared for their death in order to love their lives fully and wholeheartedly. This woman is a godsend and I wish he all the best. May we all be granted a good death so that our lives might be remembered and loved.
Tara P
Tara P:
The look on that first mother's face was one of grief, yet there was a gratitude there for someone taking the time to be honest with her. It's not easy to tell a parent - or anyone - that their loved one is most likely going to die, but leaving them in an unending state of limbo only exacerbates the matter. My grandmother's doctor told her early in that, due to her age, insurance was not going to approve much more than palliative care and hospice as needed. While this reality hurt, it also gave our family time to prepare ourselves for the end. We had four-five months of time to spend with her. twenty weekends of making the two and a half hour drive to her house so we could just 'be' there (both my mom and I worked during the week). Even my brother who lives a state away and deals with his own serious health issues had the opportunity to come to terms and get a chance to come out and be with Grandma before the end. Knowing the end is there does not make the loss easier, but it does give a purpose to the time remaining.
elizabeth_taylors version
elizabeth_taylors version:
This doctor is incredible. I can’t imagine how hard her job must be and despite that she still manages to have a positive outlook on life. She brings so much comfort and joy to so many people in some of their hardest moments and that is incredible.
katrubie3
katrubie3:
Thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront. We have disconnected from death in a very sad and profound way. We need to bring death back into our lives as a legitimate part of our lives so that we can feel better about it when it finally happens - and it will at some point. When we acknowledge that death is part of life we can be there with and for our loved ones when they do die, which are some of the most important moments. Instead of experiencing death in isolation we can talk openly about it, and even be with family and friends and receive the love and care we need as we, or someone we love, faces death. Death always brings us closer to how precious life really is and knowing this helps us to live our lives more fully and completely. I have been watching a Caitlin Doughty, a mortician, who also wants to bring normalcy of death back into our lives. She provides so much useful information on what the dying person's right are, what the family's rights are, and encourages us to talk openly to friends and family about what we want when we die - and our options are far greater than I ever imagined. She also encourages the family to be deeply involved in the care and preparation of the body once death does occur. I never wanted to die alone in a hospital, but instead to die at home surrounded by family and friends. I have never wanted people to grieve over my death, but instead to celebrate it as part of our life's journey. I have never wanted a funeral, but instead something like a wake or celebration remembering all those special moments in my life and to honor me by happy memories, not sad ones. I have been diagnosed with a rare and incurable form of cancer, and I find that when I talk to people it is difficult because so many people feel angry or sad. I cannot talk to them as openly and extensively as I want because it is too hard for them. I keep most of my thoughts to myself, which is hard because they should be shared. Thank you again. May we one day return to our old attitudes and beliefs around death as a normal part of life, while also learning to talk about it more freely, without holding back, and celebrating our happiest moments together.
_Wonderland Zombie_
_Wonderland Zombie_:
I’ve seen this video pop up in my timeline the past few months and I couldn’t push myself to watch it until now. I have two healthy babies and just thinking that one day they could be ripped from my arms at a young age breaks me…respect to tall those moms and dads having to go through these hardships and to the doctors and nurses who have to learn of the inevitable and then relay the information to the parents…you guys are all warriors
Daniella Møller
Daniella Møller:
I always thought it was weird that we could just put animals down, when they suffered, but human beings are always kept alive as long as their body allows, no matter how much they are suffering. I wish we could be a little more humane in that area also.
Lizzie B
Lizzie B:
Oh my goodness. I’m in tears. So many emotions. I’ve never been blessed with children. I see these beautiful Moms… tenderly loving their babies - and their STRENGTH. It’s incredible how tender and loving they are yet somehow, I don’t know how, they have the strength to endure the tragedy of losing their babies. I believe that we all want, and deserve, the truth. No matter how difficult. This Doctor knows this. These women want TRUTH… not false hope. While I have no children I have experienced loss. My family of six became two in 2 years time. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2017… I wanted TRUTH so I could prepare. Not false hope. These Mothers are such a tragic inspiration. I don’t believe I could ever aspire to endure what they have. I am humbled.
Sheila F
Sheila F:
Near the end of my nursing days I specialized in palliative care. I considered it an honor to be able to help my patients die with dignity and help the families through the journey. This Dr is awesome.
Leslie Jones
Leslie Jones:
I would have given anything for a doctor like this to talk to me when i found out that my sweet baby wouldn’t live long after his birth. It’s been almost 17 years I still miss my boy every day. Thank you to the wonderful nurses in the NICU who give such love and compassion you all have a special place on this earth.
Joann Cunningham
Joann Cunningham:
Thank you for allowing us to have a glimpse of your pain. That must’ve been extremely difficult for you. I hope all of the mothers and families are healing.
kimtaro
kimtaro:
She's amazing! She seems like such a wonderful, calming, supportive presence for these families.
DeSarah Hogan
DeSarah Hogan:
I love and appreciate her work in helping the families AND fellow doctors be more realistic, thoughtful, and loving to the dying. RIP to the one's who have passed since they appeared on this documentary and all who have transcended👏🏾💪🏾💜
purpledrea45
purpledrea45:
It absolutely breaks my heart when babies, newborns, and children have to go through stuff like this. The world is so unfair 😥😥😥
Lynette Walters
Lynette Walters:
My daughter, Muriel died 7 years ago tomorrow, I was so appreciative of the hospice nurses that told us the truth. We got to enjoy her last year because of the respectfulness of our hospice nurse. I taught my 5 children that "death is part of life" and it seems to have helped them, including Muriel.
TexasProud
TexasProud:
Great documentary. Thank you to the families and the doctor for doing this and allowing us to be a part of your lives during the hardest part.
Taiana Eveline Mirón Caplan
Taiana Eveline Mirón Caplan:
"I would turn magically into a baby and die in my mom's arms, because I don't think there is a place in the world of more peace and unconditional love" right into the mommie issues cut auch
Pachie Cakes
Pachie Cakes:
Coming from a mother who had a terminally ill child that passed at 6 years… if your not ready to let your baby go it doesn’t matter what logistics say. You can’t come to terms until your ready. And no one will understand that unless they experienced that personally. Yes she can see the over all pic but the emotions of the heart sees different in that moment
Elise Glassgow
Elise Glassgow:
I love that this came up. I am a nurse and being able to discuss death and dying is not taught. Learning this is wonderful and being able to have discussions is extremely helpful. Thank you.
Fulasade Taylor
Fulasade Taylor:
This is so incredibly sad but is an incredibly necessary conversation to be had. This doctor's confidence, humility, honesty and empathy for her patients and their families is so admirable. I really hope she continues educating others and sharing her knowledge with fellow healthcare providers the way she's been doing. ❤ we definitely need more specialists like her in the field. 👏 wonderful and informative documentary
Eadaoin McGugan
Eadaoin McGugan:
I know I'm a year late to this, but I wouldnt want anyone else to look after my baby than this woman! She is a genuine angel! Love and light to her and the parents in this video that lost their babies. Won't ever not break my heart 🤍🤍
Carly Casper
Carly Casper:
She is such a hero. The fact that she can keep the compassion for each patient is amazing. I feel like most people doing this job would have to detach from everyone and not let themselves experience emotions.