When Adoption Fails - Our Thoughts on the Myka Stauffer Case

Sometimes, adoptions fail. And they fail more often than you would think. It may seem unthinkable, but it does happen, and most times, it works out for the best for all parties.

Parents and kids going through a disruption are, once again, going through a traumatic experience, one that will affect each of their lives forever.

Families going through this, whether on the re-adoption side or the disrupting side, need support and love, not criticism, hatred, and rejection. In the end, a family needs to be a safe, loving place for the adopted child, the parents, and siblings to thrive.

Recently, @Myka Stauffer announced that they've made the decision to disrupt and the child has been placed in another family.

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100+ comentarios:

SixBlindKids
SixBlindKids:
Please watch a video we did on this subject 20 months ago, long before any of this news was out there. https://youtu.be/lD1_pl9uCCc 💕
chloe nestor
chloe nestor:
Adoption does fail sometimes, but having him for 3 YEARS, using him for views, duct taping his thumb, etc is just not ok
Hux is proboly so confused, mostly at the age he is
Matthew Smith
Matthew Smith:
Fake crying, abusive parenting techniques, and monetizing the child. Referring to the other kids as bios. Complaining about the cost of therapy while wearing a $6000 watch, buying three luxury cars and a van. A new home. All with money they made from him. Then they have another child. Now he's become an inconvenience. So they remove him. This is way more than a disruption.
Learning America
Learning America:
The outrage is mostly for monetizing from this kid.
Adelisa
Adelisa:
I'm sorry, but 7 weeks (your case) and three years (their case) is NOT the same. That poor boy, it breaks my heart.
dangelowallace
dangelowallace:
Young youtuber who's never done anything in his life except make YouTube videos but thinks the Stauffers are horrible people here! Just want to point out that while I have no insight into the joys or pain of adoption or taking care of special needs children, and while I definitely concur that rehoming Huxley was the right decision if it results in him getting the level of care he needs and deserves . . . the Stauffers still exploited him at every level and every step of the adoption process. They've made undisclosed thousands off of him through sponsorships, donations, and ad revenue by systematically framing something serious and nuanced like adoption as something superficial and profit-driven as a YouTube story arc. When you use that knowledge to recontextualize the fact that they gave him up without so much of a word to their fans (until now) because they wanted to respect his "privacy" (that they robbed him of long ago), then I think it's pretty easy to understand where a lot of the backlash they're receiving is coming from. I can tell that you're good people and you see the best in others, and I've learned more from this YouTube video than I have from any of the others I've seen in this situation. I just think that there's a lot of understandable anger in the YouTube community and it's not necessarily misplaced in this case because of how dramatically the Stauffers have failed poor Huxley. It's not a reflection of their abilities as adoptive parents but rather a criticism of the situation: Huxley is "out of their hair", none the better, and all that's changed is they're a great deal richer now.
Kimbyrleigha
Kimbyrleigha:
Thank you for this. It’s refreshing to see two people being kind instead of trashing people.
Wendy Travis
Wendy Travis:
They had him for more than 3 years. That’s not adoption fail. That’s giving away your child. Would she have given away her own DNA after 3 years?
love_nyc_
love_nyc_:
No, you don't get it. People made donations to contribute to the adoption of Huxley. Instead, the Stauffer family used his money to buy a luxury house, a mercedes, TWO range rovers (!!!!), and go on luxury vacations. This is SICKENING!!!!!!!!
2 in a Zoo
2 in a Zoo:
Hey guys! Thanks for having the courage to discuss this. We've been weighing whether or not to speak up, because our experience is so unique and we really don't know if/how we can contribute to the conversation in a healthy way without adding to the white noise. Thanks for setting an example with constructive, wise speech and for being slow to anger. Thanks for constructively adding to the conversation...
Our LANDing Crew
Our LANDing Crew:
You explained how a special needs family vlog/show so so well!
Ali Jane
Ali Jane:
Disruption after 7 weeks is not the same as disruption after 3 years. At what point are adoptive parents on the hook? I'm sorry, but no. What that couple did with that child was wholly immoral. I can't accept any defense of their actions. That child matters more than they do. They made a long term commitment, and they bailed. My heart breaks for that little boy, ripped from his siblings. I don't feel sorry for that couple at all, and I think they should be deeply ashamed. You don't seem to understand that this couple used that child to generate incredible income, starting long before he joined them.
And young people who make videos have every right to question this situation. This couple chose this platform to promote themselves as wonderful adoptive people. They stroked their own egos endlessly regarding that little boy. They used him. Then they threw him away. Young people recognize how shitty that is.
A lot of this video sounds like you two trying to excuse this choice, for those two and yourselves. There's no excuse for what they've done, in my opinion. Not after 3 years. And I dont agree that it's required that people have adopted special needs kids to have an opinion on the subject. That's just ridiculous.
I like you guys, but this vlog is a huge miss for me.
Odessa Palacios
Odessa Palacios:
I have a special needs kid. For the last 19 years I’ve thought I’m not suitable for him. But who do I return him to? He is mine. I will forever do my best. Giving up is not an option.
Crazy Pieces
Crazy Pieces:
Awesome video guys! Thanks for sharing your perspective and very well said! Hope the family is doing amazing!
Ellie Is A Little Concerned
Ellie Is A Little Concerned:
So I was adopted from China as an infant and maybe my views are biased, but I can’t hold any gentleness for what the Stauffers did. Three years (I think that’s the real issue. They waited three years and mistreated him while he was living with them)—they profited and used that poor child and speak of him more like a PET than a human being. They specifically ASKED for a special needs child. I can’t imagine my parents “rehoming” me for my issues. I don’t think Huxley ever belonged with them to begin with, and yes, I’m happy he’s out of that awful house, but I cannot excuse the Stauffers. Your situation seems worlds different from theirs too. And also, they did some shady stuff after “rehoming” Huxley like going on vacation and having another baby. I really don’t think they ever loved him.
Amy Lerman
Amy Lerman:
Ok but this wasn’t a 7 week trial this was a finalized adoption and with a child they had for years. Speaking from a adoptive mama of 3
Kristine Mendoza
Kristine Mendoza:
There has been no appropriate grief on this family’s channel. You say, “it must feel like a death”, but this family went to a $700+/night resort in the middle of this and continued to push vapid and van content. They’ve acted like sociopaths, esp given that they sought out a child with special needs, and Myka touted her RN experience. This week has been filled with terrible injustice, particularly with George Floyd. And while I’ll never know the difficulties of being a cop or being black, I can call out disgraceful behavior.
Frank The Tank
Frank The Tank:
Just because disruption is more common than you think, doesn't justify it being ok.
Michelle
Michelle:
I think it's causing so much hype, not because of the situation they gave him up, but the way they treated him when he was in their home, I watched their vlogs for a while but unsubscribed, because it was clear they didn't treat him right and didn't bond with him from the start, they shouldn't have waited 3 years to place him in a better suited home. When I watch your vlogs, the love you have for your kids is obvious, the struggles are hard and you talk about the struggles in a respectful way. They had another baby knowing they was struggling with the children they already had. Anyway I try not to be judgemental I'm just saying what I seen from watching their vlogs
Elizabeth Eileen
Elizabeth Eileen:
It's not JUST that they "re-homed" their child (not their dog) it's that they exploited this little boy, made a ton of money off of him, dumped him off when it just didn't fit their perfect facade anymore, but then literally right after dumping him off, they jet off to Bali for a month!!
Nadz x
Nadz x:
A lot of people are upset because they specifically wanted to adopt a child with special needs, if you watch her videos "adopting a child part 1-3" she SPECIFICALLY mentions that the doctors told her the child will have alot of conditions YET she says she just ignored it and tuned it out, the problem is she KNEW the child had special needs before adopting yet claims now they didn't. Seeing as she knew, it would have been better NOT to adopt then allow him to get adjusted in a family only to be taken away.
A Rasor
A Rasor:
I understand your feelings on this situation, however there is a vast difference between 7 weeks and many years. Also, they profited off of that adoption and that child in a major way. I believe that is why people are so upset. They need to retire from YouTube..all of their channels, focus on the children they have.
Kasashaa Mckee
Kasashaa Mckee:
If you cant look after your child adopted or not and you decide the best thing is to hand them back or give them to the system I understand that. However, I believe it blew up for (the family) because of the way they handled the whole thing. Saying it was a heart wrenching choice but then going on a month long holiday to somewhere doesn't look the greatest at all. Saying you can't afford the kids therapy, yet you have a 6300 watch on your wrist, buy a new house and then do renovations on it while you still have the child doesn't look the greatest. Had they handled it better and maybe not even posted a video at all, maybe they wouldn't have the backlash they have now. My comment is in no way hateful just that what they are doing and how they are handling things makes it look bad. It could've been dealt with better.
Kai ohhai
Kai ohhai:
I don't understand the mentality of "It happens all the time therefore they shouldn't get so much hate." That isn't really logical imo. This couple knowingly adopted a special needs child(there are videos of her saying they did special focus) and threw him into their videos, slapping ADOPTION all over them, and then when it got too hard they got rid of him. The simple fact of the matter is they didn't love him the same as they loved their biological children. Because good parents do whatever it takes to take care of their child. But they didn't see him the same and took the opportunity to give him up. I guarantee you if this new baby they had ended up being autistic they wouldn't put that child in foster care. They wouldn't think twice. They have all this money so they easily had access to special needs programs for this child. I am the mother of a high functioning autistic child and I cannot ever view these people in a good way for what they have done. Not to mention they raised money from their fans for this child.
Sami Og
Sami Og:
I hear what yall are saying...but that myka situation doesnt sit well with me. I'll pray for all involved
Ardysangel
Ardysangel:
I’m really struggling with my feelings about this situation and hoped that y’all would add your voices. For me, my anger comes from two places.....the first is that I was heartbroken about some of the choices that they publicly shared in regards to that baby(off the top of my head, duct taping his hands and fingers to stop thumb sucking). The second, this family crowd funded their adoption from their viewers.....and while I understand that crowdfunding is common in international adoptions, asking the people that watch your videos to help you fund an adoption opens the doors to these same people being emotionally invested in this adoption and child. These same people that donated hundreds of dollars to “get him home” noticed that he was suddenly missing from the family shortly after their youngest child was born and were honestly worried about his well-being(again these people were already emotionally invested) and were lied to or blocked when they asked. This family was actually aware of how severe this little boy was, the Dr they consulted here about his medical records told them that they may want to consider not moving forward with the adoption....but instead of taking that information and considering it, a video was made bashing the Dr/opinion and claiming that as a nurse she was ready for any challenge presented. And then, in the middle of all these issues they were having they chose to have another biological child. Here is where my struggle comes in, am I angry? 1000% for the reasons I listed before, that said I’m well aware that international adoption has a large percentage of disruption....due to needs or issues being hidden or not even recognized by those caring for that child in an orphanage. Is it heartbreaking? Yes but that child does have opportunities still available that wouldn’t be afforded if still in an orphanage. And honestly, I’d rather an adoptee say “whoa this is too much for me” then to keep the child and mistreat them out of frustration. It’s just such a heavy topic and I understand why their “fans”(the people that basically paid for their adoption) are angry about the whole situation. I am honestly elated for little Huxley because I truly believe he is better off, but I am angry at them/the situation they created by allowing the viewers to be a part of and emotionally invested in this innocent little boy that they were lied to about for months!
Beatriz Pereira
Beatriz Pereira:
I understand where they’re coming from because my son has autism too and it’s not always easy but that’s parenting anyways, adoptee or not. It’s their job as parents to raise and move mountains for the child(ren). They signed up for a child with special needs, they knew what they were getting themselves into.

The only positive thing about this story is that they found a family that is capable to take care of him and has the knowledge necessary to raise a child with special needs.
Caralee D
Caralee D:
I’m wondering what you think about the fact that they waited YEARS before sending him to a new home? My family foster parented and fostered to adopt, but we knew pretty early on if a kid simply wasn’t a good fit permanently. That 7 week window you gave was a good example. The fact that they waited years is just devastating because you’d think at this point they would have considered him an indispensable part of the family....
ivette santana
ivette santana:
But she waited 3 years and got her $$. You gave it 7 weeks and knew so that is not sitting well with me. I refuse to watch any of her videos especially when they duct tape his thumbs. I wont watch either the 3rd party you tubers because they are trying to suck the money out of this situation too.
Magnolia Moppet
Magnolia Moppet:
The thing is had they birthed this child, they would not just put it up for adoption if it was too hard. They’re horrible people.
Bella Menad
Bella Menad:
They ve caused most of his behavior since they didn't take care of him the right way since the beginning , he started to adjust and then boon they decided to get pregnant and neglected him since they were busy with the new born.
They used the money they collected through Gofundme for his therapy that he never got to buy new house several cars and lavish vacations!
If they did all what they couldve done i understand but if u do nothing just using him to promote your channel then dump him no that a BIG NO
Shelley Virtudazo
Shelley Virtudazo:
The outrage is they flaunt and act like the adopted son never existed. She's lazy, complained alot, never tried to help the son out. They knew well ahead he needed extra care. They had an agenda, profited. They now need to show proof Huxley is safe and legally "re home"
Elizabeth
Elizabeth:
Myka posted this on her Facebook: “Our son adopted from China is very delayed but is obsessed with food. I understand the reasoning, however even if he just ate he always stares at everyone when they eat. You can’t eat food without him watching you eat. Even if he has food in front of him. Has any one experiences this? Does it lessen with time? And it drives my husband bonkers.” Sounds like she was tired of the poor kid she’s sick.
Katie
Katie:
Adoption doesn’t always work, you guys have done a lot of good in your adoptions.

The family lives near me. I know of them. It’s rang bells of not right for a long time.
I feel nothing but grossed out by them, there was video of them duct taping his hand to stop a harmless stim. And before adopting him a Facebook post in a China adoption group asking for “special needs you would consider minor or or relatively easy to manage that most people wouldn’t consider easy”. Nobody says things like that is looking into adopting a disabled child for the right reasons. So adopting a disabled child for clout and income in click bait videos is blatantly using him.

Also I am glad he has gone somewhere he can receive the proper care and love.
Jess Lynn
Jess Lynn:
There is evidence, video evidence of spoken words that they knew what they were getting into. You can do a quick search and find video of Myka herself saying verbatim “the doctor told us there will likely be severe issues and suggested we not adopt. But that went in one ear and out the other. My son isn’t returnable”.. meaning.. these people knew what they were getting into, this doctor even told them there is a large likelihood that he will not be self sufficient ever and always live with them to which they understood and agreed.

There is no excuse for this.
J & Mom LIVE
J & Mom LIVE:
All I'm going to say is keep little Huxley in your prayers and pray this little guy finds happiness and joy.
Denise Daviau
Denise Daviau:
The went to Bali after they got rid of him they could afford the therapist and they duck tape his thumb
Kitty Mervine
Kitty Mervine:
also YES, do not adopt to just "save" this child. That child may NEVER be grateful and thank you and think they owe you for life. Like ANY CHILD, natural or adopted, kids are just kids. Being a parent does not mean a grateful happy child forever. And don't expect an adopted child to be MORE grateful, you can't think "If I didn't adopt you, you might be DEAD!"....you are just mom and dad. As it should be. With one disabled child, oh my, the extra attention and care even today as she is an adult. She came to us with the movie "Stepbrorthers" to watch, to say in her way she understood our lives were going to be spent helping care for her for the rest of our lives. TO those that even TRY adopting a special needs child, THANK YOU. There were times I was ready to just GIVE HER AWAY, and her father was the strong one and to this day, is the back bone that keeps the love going and the paperwork filled out. (Always paperwork!! Even with a non adopted disabled child/adult).
Funny Lady
Funny Lady:
They adopted this kid for social media fame. It was for money.
Godot
Godot:
You both really have missed the point by defending Myka. You have failed to hold her responsible/accountable for exploiting the child by making money off of him with sponsorships and YouTube revenue. Myka abandoned the kid like an unwanted dog and then took off on holiday to Bali, which was no doubt paid for with that exploitation money.
Ginger Snaps
Ginger Snaps:
Level headed commentary like this is what we really need to be listening to during these times. You guys really set an example of not only being a healthy family, but just being good people in general.

Can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed your wholesome content!
bookworm943943
bookworm943943:
The part that is so different from your disruption situation to the Huxley situation is that you decided to disrupt after 7 weeks. That is so different to me than after years. The poor child was so settled into that family. Not comparable to 7 weeks in my opinion.
Marie Roberts
Marie Roberts:
You guys jumped to the defense of The Stauffers I believe without knowing how the child was exploited and treated. Long turned viewers that were invested in Huxley saw and heard over time how Myka interacted with him and disparaged his behaviors.
Virginia Blackburn
Virginia Blackburn:
I think another one of the main issues is that they were told about his issues. They asked for a child with issues. They were told by professionals they didn't suggest going through with it. They did it anyway.
LenNAntz V
LenNAntz V:
We can judge when they USED him for financial gain. The difference is many people do this privately
Ciara Duff
Ciara Duff:
But after nearly 3 years of having a child how could you possibly give them away? I just understand it. Would they have given away their biological child if they didn't meet their expectations, I dont think they would.
CW919
CW919:
I hope you realize that Myka duct taped Huxley's hands to prevent him from sucking his thumb and she even made a comment that if this situation were to happen with her other biological children, she would seek the help they need. Yes, disruptions occur in adoption, but it's very obvious that she never loved him and only used him to gain fame. I've been following them before the adoption and they both already had professional careers prior to youtube (Nurse and Mechanical Engineer) and the only reason they were able to turn youtube into a career is because of the fame they gained from adopting an orphan from China with specials needs. If it wasn't for the adoption, none of what they have would be possible. Using the poor boy to build their brand is truly immoral and to see that there are people trying to excuse their behavior is just sad.
H Moore
H Moore:
I cannot fathom “giving a child away” (referencing the YouTube Family who rehomed their child), but I also recognize it’s very easy for me to stand in my glass house and make statements not knowing the intimate details of what is going on in a home.
Cora Bee
Cora Bee:
Huxley's family have substantial wealth and resources. They had Huxley for years and specifically sought out a special needs child. Your experience is nothing like theirs.They failed that little boy. They exploited him on YouTube and abandoned him. Imagine the damage they have done to him. He has been thrown into foster care away from the only family he remembers. It's cruel. They deserve to feel shame.
Becky Marie
Becky Marie:
I wish more people would see this video. It astonishes me that the “tea channels” get 1.5 million views on this topic, and you guys who have experience, strength and hope on the topic only have 210k. It really annoys me that Google educated ppl think they have a right to capitalize off of something they truly know nothing about.

Thank you for your perspective. While I know they had some additional issue surrounding their situation. I think the crux of the issue is exactly what you explained.
Trisha lovesall
Trisha lovesall:
I’m an adoption fail so I took care of myself Always remember if you loose a child from sudden death don’t replace with another child, the adopted child can feel they aren’t wanted!!!! Humans are not pets!!!!
Lori Williams
Lori Williams:
I have followed this family. I have not walked a mile in their shoes, so I try very hard not to judge. I pray Huxley has found his forever family and will be loved unconditionally. I made the choice to stop following the family because something seemed off in regards to the relationship between Huxley and the mom. I didn't understand and don't understand so I had to unfollow them because I didn't understand the treatment he received. Maybe they were the stepping stone to Huxley's forever family. I pray God watches over all parties involved. I pray that they will heal with time. Thank you for you video. This is what I needed to see.
Gryffindore7
Gryffindore7:
I'm adopted and my parents have told me stories of theyr journey to me. So much heartbreak but in the end it worked out
Evelyn Vazquez
Evelyn Vazquez:
The thing that really messed with my mind is how Myka just kept sharing on social media and making YouTube videos on her personal channel like nothing was happening. Then the luxury Bali vacation 🤯 Sorry but WHAT??!!! There was a lot of shady ness on their part. Deleting comments, blocking people if they asked about Huxley.
Kim Osborn
Kim Osborn:
All families with special needs children are a blessing.
Ana Azevedo
Ana Azevedo:
The adopting system in the US is so sketchy. It seems like these “ adoption agencies “ are like shops. It’s crazy to me that a private agency can be allowed to organise adoptions
Ivy Raic Catillo
Ivy Raic Catillo:
Why did she get pregnant again if they had such a lot of problems with Hux? It's insane.
Dawnie Brandy
Dawnie Brandy:
Your children are lucky you kept them and yes you are the voice of reason. But if they was finding it was hard they should have stoped having children and devoted time to the kids they had. Sorry no love loss for that family .
Taylor
Taylor:
The problem I have with the other family is that it doesnt seen like they are grieving they are having lavish vacations and they had a GoFundMe me for his care but he not got it but and they kept the money
Sarah
Sarah:
It was very telling from early on that they regretted adopting him. They mentioned adopting a second child and then reflected on the ‘mistakes’ they made when adopting Huxley.
All in all they don’t come across as very nice people, and definitely not suitable for adopting a child with special needs.
My daughter has very complex needs that I wasn’t prepared for and have had to muddle through.
Yes some people give their disabled children up for adoption but then would they go onto social media and flaunt this wonderful perfect life afterwards?
I’ve seen the devastation of adoption through my own father and to be quite honest I’m really very offended on behalf of all special needs children and children of adoption disruption.
Children are not pets!
Ana Azevedo
Ana Azevedo:
If the international adoptions rates are that bad it’s because this system is not ok. I understand that children need families but in reality what’s happening is people buying people. And profit being made. Of course the agency is not helping: they are companies. It’s about money! This system needs to be revised
Carlaiam -
Carlaiam -:
They were told of the severity of his needs doctors told them so for them to say they didn’t know is infuriating. Myka herself said that “the information went in one ear and out the other” because “my child is not returnable no matter what” during the process because “that is my child” I think in all they felt the child just didn’t fit with the lifestyle they wanted/now have. Like many have said if that was their biological child they wouldn’t have rehomed him.
Scarlett Howard
Scarlett Howard:
I understand where you’re coming from but a child is not a pet and “not fitting with a family” is something just not right to say. He is a child with autism and his parent made that decision. The fact that you can return a child is just wrong. If they really loved him they would move mountains for him and deal with anything that comes their. No one is saying that it is easy to take care of an autistic child. I am pretty Myka would NEVER give away her own child. They also DUCTAPED his hands and put little hands on it and that is just cruel. No amount of explaining will this situation right.
Ariel Harmony
Ariel Harmony:
I have been watching them sense their trip to pick up the baby.

I was adopted myself so I watched everything! But as I watched them for months after the adoption I just got this bad crawling sick feeling. Then I remembered; when I was little some family members didn’t think I belonged. My other adopted brother isn’t biracial and looks like my family. My extended family on one side was bothered I guess. I just remember little things: One more Christmas gift than me but his stuff was always bigger better and more expensive. They would take him out places and leave me at home to watch tv sometimes alone with the dogs “ you’ll like that better anyway!” Or worse was the greeting where brother would get a big swoop hug from my aunt and a wooden 2 second hug for me and a cold “your taller. Your butt got fat though” or similar

It hit me the same kinda feeling they gave me as a kid was making watching these Stauffer life videos so hard to watch.

I wish I am wrong. I hope it’s just my own trauma bothering me. And then other people say similar things and it just makes me glad this sweet boy is in a hopefully better place
Sal Lizandro
Sal Lizandro:
THOSE TWO ADOPTED A DISABLED CHILD SO THEY CAN PROFIT FROM IT..
really i
really i:
when i first saw the story of the youtuber and their decision, i thought of you guys and i wanted to know your thoughts because i feel as though i don’t have enough knowledge about the adoption world. thank you for sharing, it was very insightful. 🙂
WasteIand
WasteIand:
Wrong. You wouldn't rehome your biological child if it had similar issues. HUMAN BEINGS AREN'T PETS.
Cathy Burnham
Cathy Burnham:
You are marvelous parents! You are honest and loving .
Zwe Clark
Zwe Clark:
My question is if Hux was their biological child with all the special needs they can’t deal with, will they have put him up for adoption or handed him over to the system?
Imerinel
Imerinel:
I know I have NO specifics of their family, and can’t put myself in their shoes. And I think if they were some random family going through this privately I’d have a lot more sympathy.

But I think that if they chose to adopt a child with special needs while putting themselves in the public eye, fundraise from their followers for the adoption, and monetize the videos, they should expect the criticism. I also am biased based on things I’ve seen in their videos. Some adoptive you tubers would be getting a much bigger “pass” from me. All of that to say, you are so much more compassionate than me, which is one of the reasons I love watching you. ❤️
EliteChingon
EliteChingon:
THE PROBLEM IS THEY GOT RICH OFF THE CHILD not so much the disruption. first they get rich exploiting the poor child, not previously caring about his privacy while getting rich promoting him in videos and then they returned him as if he was a dog. Beyond shameful, I hope they can find it in their hearts to donate all the money they made exploiting the child to help children in need.
umm zainab
umm zainab:
Such a thoughtful and mature response!
Fables 456
Fables 456:
I have more respect for an adult when they say “I can’t handle this” rather than a parent abusing a child. Adoption is hard... it’s not a fairy tale. Adoptive parents and children need a wide variety of services (like individual therapy, family therapy, financial assistance, occupational therapy, ect) .
Laura Arnason
Laura Arnason:
You're so much more gracious than I want you to be (I can't stand Myka Stauffer for many reasons). Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!
Elizabeth Jennifer
Elizabeth Jennifer:
I thought adoption is final. That is your child forever. This little boy has a new mommy now? I just don't get it. They gave away their son. I'm finding it really hard not to judge
Christina Starnes
Christina Starnes:
Your humility, your honesty, and your compassion along with REAL LIFE experience has brought understanding to this situation. Thank you for stepping up and being a voice that desperately needs to be heard ❤️
LAdwv7495
LAdwv7495:
All I'm reading from this story is a bunch of people going "I've never adopted a child, but I'm more than qualified to pass judgment on those that do."
Nina W
Nina W:
Just throwing it out there, Myka was a RN before youtube. The couple were discouraged by several doctors that hux is going to be difficult before the adoption, yet they still went and adopted him. I tried my best to be more understanding of this situation. I didn't want to judge before getting all the details, so I went and watched all her adoption videos, watched how hux interacted with them, how much he grew and improved. It literally breaks my heart, hux is such an angel, I can't imagine what he's going through right now. I think people were mad because of the way they handled the whole situation. If they really love him, they would make that video all about hux instead of them, they would put all the money they profited off hux into a bank account for his treatment and future. They would still want to be a part of his life! They knew what they signed up for from the beginning, hux didnt.
Jennifer Williams
Jennifer Williams:
Fantastic that you spoke about this... that poor family going through this.
La Chatelaine
La Chatelaine:
The knee jerk feeling is disgust. But truly, none of us have to walk in anyone else’s shoes. There is so much involved in parenting and adoption. My heart goes out to them and little Huxley 😢
Stephanie Brown
Stephanie Brown:
You guys have the biggest heart ♡ you and your family brighten my day through all this chaos ♡
Karen Cartlidge
Karen Cartlidge:
The voice of wisdom. You are lovely people.
Valeria Vagapova
Valeria Vagapova:
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I'm so sorry that you have to read all those rude, uneducated comments about your family from people who clearly never watched a single other video on your channel... Internet can be wild sometimes, especially when people are outraged and just want to take someone down. Your video helped me understand the situation from another angle. Thank you, keep on going <3

"And the last thing anybody needs is shame or some young, single YouTuber who's never done anything in his life except make videos on YouTube to come along and tell them what horrible people they are ... to go and just begin to shame other people for something that you've never done, would probably never do, and don't know anything about." - !! so well said. Thank you.
Liz Florence
Liz Florence:
A kind, pragmatic response from people who truly understand the adoption process and system. Thank you for your insight, it is really interesting. Take care 🙂
QuinnOfBritain
QuinnOfBritain:
More people need to see this.
Joanna G
Joanna G:
So ... all I heard was that YOU guys were not experienced and YOU didn’t know how to handle it and therefore YOU were not a good fit. Which is something that Myka should admit and stop blaming the child.
Dorothy Lawson
Dorothy Lawson:
I had a baby when I was 15 if it were not for her adoptive parents I would not have gotten to live out the rest of my childhood so thank you for being such wonderful people ❤️
Latania Fenn
Latania Fenn:
I was curious about you perspective about this situation. I’m glad you guys empathize and educate on why sometimes adoption can fail.

For me personally, the issue wasn’t they rehomed Huxley, it’s the fact they never made any effort to proactively help with his needs, decided to have other children while still struggling with his behavior, isolate him and then most importantly exploit him from the very beginning of his adoption for money and fame.
amy w
amy w:
Well stated! We have 2 adopted specials needs with reactive attachment disorder. People would never understand what our family has gone through so we keep it to ourselves.
Abby T
Abby T:
I agree not judging, but I also believe that people with disabilities deserve the same love and support as people without disabilities. They are people just as we are, and shouldn’t be looked at as “given back” or if the system would’ve been different they wouldn’t have gotten that child. I know it’s difficult, but it’s sad to think that it is nothing the child can control and he’s still given back.
breakawayfromme
breakawayfromme:
Thank you for posting this and sharing your experience's, I don't no anything about adoption so its good to get a little more informed
Right now on youtube and in the media there's just seems to be so many people being hounded and attacked for things they have done and I truly belive no matter what someone has done they do not deserve to be hounded ever!
When your feeling low or ashamed, guilty etc , cruel or uniformed words really cut deep and can sometimes push someone over the edge
Meghan Clark
Meghan Clark:
I understand your video and appreciate your wise commentary on the subject. However as a follower of Myka since before the adoption, this situation does not sit right with me. They exploited Huxley.
A R
A R:
Love that you’re so honest but I genuinely doubt that was the case. They went to Bali while grieving. I think you give them the benefit of the doubt because you’re good people with good hearts. You know the rough side of this terrible choice some have to make. They had him for 3 years not a few months. I do think you’re right though. I think after the fifth baby they couldn’t handle it. I just wish they had given it more time for the baby to grow up or hire someone to help during this time. Maybe he really couldn’t be in a home with other children but I think if that were the case they should give him the money they earned off of him out of love. Even though they couldn’t keep him they could somehow financially help. Come on they’re stupid rich they’re not like every other family... I get where you’re coming from I truly do but i think people are upset because they believe more could’ve been done. Even if it was just financially.
Ashley Brown
Ashley Brown:
My biggest issue with this is, they went to a doctor to inquire about the boy's health before they adopted him. The doctor told them in no uncertain terms that Hux was not going to be an eas kiddo to raise. And Myka admitted in earlier videos to blatantly ignoring that advice. (She also has a history of adopting pets and dumping them later, and starting 'get rich quick' business schemes. So I do not believe she ever had the child's best interests in mind. I don't think her intentions in taking him in were right, and I think that's a super important distinction when it comes to a failed adoption.
paul sciria
paul sciria:
They didn’t just give him up, they mistreated him. Watch their videos, they put duct tape on his hands to keep him from sucking on them.
Jonathan Pascual
Jonathan Pascual:
I appreciate you guys making this video but I can’t find it in myself to pity them in _this_ situation.

The doctors told her it would be very difficult yet she said that it “went out the other ear” and that her child “wasn’t returnable”.

What really bothered me was when they were talking about wanting to respect his privacy. You made countless videos of him for YEARS, made boatloads of profit and you want to _respect his privacy?_ Get the hell outta here with that nonsene.

Even the way they acted like victims was unsettling. You were fully aware of the responsibility and ended up biting off more than you can chew. That’s solely on them. The real and _only_ victim is Huxley and I hope he finds his forever home.

Apologies for the rant and I hope the best for your children.
Tliltik
Tliltik:
Uffff this was though. On one hand, people forget that youtubers are only people, parents who adopt are only people...there are struggles that only those in the same situation can understand so, thank you so much for giving your thoughts on this.
On the other hand, I have a big problem with family vlogers that do things only to have something new on their vlogs. After watching this family's channel I couldn't help but think they did not adopt this beautiful child for the right reasons. People need to understand that kids with disabilities are expensive and in need of extra attention. I just felt sick when she said that one of the reasons to give up on him was that he needed more medical attention than they previously thought. It feels to me that they are a family who won't give up on their life style to give this child the extra medical attention he needs. I'm happy for the kid because he'll go to a less vapid family. I hope he's loved and cared for.
I know you have a lot of videos talking about your experiences with adoption, I thank you for that! More people need to see them before adopting! If you ever have more experiences that not too many people take into account please share them. Talk about the ugly, it is needed!
Love you guys. You are mature and filled with God's grace. I hope I'll be as full of compassion as you are one day!
NewCreations83 Tammy
NewCreations83 Tammy:
I completely agree with your opinion on the matter. Praying for the family and the sweet child involved.
Kelsey Jones
Kelsey Jones:
My mother took in one of my second cousins when I was about 16 and my cousin was 12. It was wonderful at first but slowly things began to unfold that we could of never seen coming. She started bringing up stuff about how she couldn’t stop thinking about murdering people all the time. We stayed calm but I decided I wasn’t comfortable sleeping in my bedroom with her anymore so I started sleeping on an old futon in our moldy unfinished basement! She kept bringing it up and then started somehow sneaking into the basement while I was asleep and grabbing clothes I would bring down for the next day then would deviously ask me if I was missing said item. I’m an extremely light sleeper I’ll add and the old stairs creek like crazy so we we’re pretty freaked out that she could sneak that well.

We ended up installing locks on all doors but my old bedroom and I took down all my stuff from my room so she would no longer have access to it. Then we started finding out about her stealing issues which got to the point of us having to do pocket checks before leaving the house and before entering the house. We were unable to bring her to any stores because of this.

The lying got so severe that she started throwing around all of these very serious allegations that would ruin the life’s of the people she targeted. They all were found extremely inconsistent and false by the investigators/ police.

Before of the last home checkups we had with social workers, we informed her of the visit 30 mins before they arrived then we caught her pinching her neck to try to leave marks which we felt she was doing to try accuse us of causing.

We tried so hard to work with her and find resources for her to get therapy /assistance with her issues. Nothing seemed to help and we were just at our wits end. I was extremely sick from being exposed to the mold in the basement, for three months I could barely get out of bed. My mom who is schizophrenic has enough to deal with on her own and was just way to overwhelmed with how upside down our life’s became. She decided that we weren’t the right fit even though we tried our best. You can never know what goes on behind closed doors. I can’t ever judge someone for coming to the same conclusion. That was one of the hardest times in my life but I know the decision was vital for everyone’s mental health and my physical health!
Shanny Rae
Shanny Rae:
Great message,you guys are so wise you definitely should be educators...love you guys🌻